Linaras, 25th day of Paleswelt, 432 AC
Fifth Watch rising 17
Citadel of Light Releases Classified Documents
by Trampas Whiteman, Staff Writer
Citadel of Light – Shock and scandal shook the Citadel of Light this last Mishram as Citadel of Light co-administrator, Cassandra Renay, released classified documents that painted Goldmoon not as the savior of Ansalon, but as the naughty girl she is.
"She was once the shining star of Ansalon, but when her star fell, she had to reinvent herself," Renay said. "She's kind of like a child actor. In a desperate attempt to keep her legacy since that god thing failed for her, she invented mysticism."
Renay has released documents that prove that Goldmoon manipulated people into thinking that various forms of magic were all one type of magic called mysticism. Combined with illegal drug usage and a hippy dippy pseudo-religion, people bought into the sham.
The Herald asked various mystics what their reactions were to this news.
Camilla Weoledge (Knight of the Sword): "I knew something was up the minute Goldmoon wanted the mystics to wear blue robes. That sounds just like those weird cultists, the Wizards of High Sorcery!"
Jemtal Oermann: "As far as I can tell, we have any number of power sources. Divine, primal, psionic. Heck, we have one mystic here with the layered meat domain. It'll be Player's Handbook 27 before we get this all figured out."
Iryl Songbrook (disfigured elf something something): "Dude, I have so got the munchies."
Gnomenclature (gnome psion): "FinallyIcanstoplivingthisfacadeputonmyblackcostumeandglovesandstoppretendingthatIlikethesemundanes. Thecorpsismotherthecorpsisfather."
Scanion Ribtickler (kender druid): "Dave's not here, man."
(Editor's Note: This is the first time that Scanion Ribtickler has ever talked.)