Majetag, 19th day of Darkember, 432 AC
Twelfth Watch rising 14
Krynn Files For Divorce
by Carteeg Struve, Staff Writer
Today was a sad day for everyone, as the population of Krynn filed for divorce, ending their second marriage to WotC. The legal ramifications of this historic separation have still not been determined, but a long and bitter court battle is expected.
"It was a painful decision," said Dalamar. "We had some good times, but that time is gone, and I think it's best we just make this as painless as possible and simply move on."
The divorce was not entirely unexpected. For the last few years Krynn and WotC have been having a troubled relationship. Krynn claimed that WotC was holding them hostage, not allowing sourcebooks to be released and finally ending when WotC threatened to stuff Krynn into a vault for several years.
"Personally, I think Krynn is over reacting," said WotC's defense attorney, Huepersant Ovdatop. "The vault issue was not a threat. It's just a way of saying we want a separation, a chance to see other people, and then we'll get back together and remember the fun times."
"How can they say we should separate?" said Usha Majere. "They're already cheating on us! I don't mind a wandering eye. That's natural. But they've only been spending time with Eberron and Abeir-Toril, every single night! Meanwhile we're supposed to stand in the back, look pretty, and stay quiet! They're nothing but a load of cheating adulterers!"
"Uhhhh," replied Mayor Palin Majere, before wisely shutting up.
Regardless of comments stating otherwise, few expect the separation to go quietly. Possession of the Ansalon's children is up for debate. Taladas has been given some attention of late, although there are complaints of abuse. Also custody of the illegitimate son, Adlatum, is in question. Furthermore, ownership of the animated movie is already being fought over furiously by both side, each wanting the other side to take possession and responsibility.
"I'll at least take the soundtrack," said Branchala.
Huepersant also dismissed the allegations of this turning into a lengthy court fight. "Yes, there are some details that need to be hashed out, and the issue of alimony is always a sore point. Yet both sides know what is to be expected. There had been legal agreements signed when this bond was formed last decade."
"Heh. Yeah. I wrote the fine print myself," said Hiddukel gleefully. "This is going to be fun."
Some experts debate whether the filing is legal at all. Never before has a setting tried to leave its owner. "There's a lot to sort," said Gilean. "We may end up making some concessions in the end. They are allowed to use Raistlin's likeness in promotional materials, while we have the rights to make our own TV programming or live-action movie, for example. But the toughest part will be fans... how to deal with the fans?"
"The fans will be easy," said Heupersant. "We'll take Tal, Cam, and Kendermage. Krynn can keep Dragonhelm, Seph, and Weldon. The rest we can lotto for Saturday night."