Bakukal, 15th day of Darkember, 432 AC
Morning Watch rising 26
Edition War Rages On
by Carteeg Struve, Staff Writer
Experts claim there is no end in sight as the Edition War enters its second year. The war first struck all of Ansalon when various groups of adventurers and creatures encountering each other couldn't agree on which combat rule-set to use. The turmoil resulted in many altercations ending with people unsure of who won or even survived the encounters.
"It's idiotic!" said Blisar D'riptov of Morpug. "As I was charging at the monsters, one of them threw something at me and demanded I save versus whatever! Didn't these things get the memo! It's defense now! Defense!"
The creatures in question were a delegation from Mount Nevermind. (Quotes abbreviated for sanity.) "I couldn't understand it," said Owdaytedpeeci(etc). "A group of good aligned knights crested the hill, and one yelled, 'Hey! It's the kobold replacements!' And they charged us down."
One group known as the Word of Fourcraft began burning settlements where people refuse to use the newest conflict resolution rules. "Mount Nevermind is a monster stronghold," said a spokesman for the Word, Unlyn Tumuch. "It's a viable target, and they've no right to complain. They're sole reason for existing is so our applicants can gain XP."
Coming to Nevermind's defense is an organization opposed to the Word, the Thri'exers. Captain Stuh Bournas publicly stated, "Those Fourcrafters are nothing but brainless whelps who can't even figure out their alignment half the time. We'll take those 'unaligned' bastards down, and we'll not be wasting our money in the meantime!"
But the Thri'exers were struck a harsh blow last week when demon-tainted PCs appeared out of nowhere and sacked the Thri'exers headquarters in Sanction. Aid was requested from Teyr, but none came due to the draconians working on their own immigration problems as numerous dragonborn entered their city, claiming themselves to be draconian children.
"My kids don't look like that!" shouted one Bozak. "Sorry, but unless they blow up when they die, then there is no relation."
After the Word seized Solamnia, hope for the Thri'exers rekindled when a group of rangers calling themselves the Finders of the Path swore to aid the Thri'exers in updating their methods while staying true to their core beliefs. It has yet to be seen how well things will play out with this new alliance.
Another ancient group, the Thacovians, entered the war briefly several months ago but were forced to retreat when nobody cared they were there. The Thacovians returned to their nursing homes quietly.
Many are trying to stay out of the fighting, and even two deities have called it quits until the world quiets down. But the fighting has caused massive devastation.
"Yes, this is the second year of the war," said Incer Trandum Naemhir. "But unfortunately the war is retroactive for at least the last ninety years. This means that for the last two years, this argument has been going on since the War of the Lance. The effects will be felt for centuries to come."