Linaras, 22nd day of Reapember, 432 AC
After Deepwatch Hour falling 5
by Darcwulf, Staff Writer
Palanthas -Wilfred Brahm, chairman of the kender taskforce, announced early Misham morning that they have made progress into discovering the reason why so many kender are visiting Palanthas at the moment.
"Questioning most kender is an exercise in futility," said Brahm, a respected sage. "However, find the right ones and you can get the answers you need. The biggest problem however, is keeping their attention so they don't wander off when something catches their eye."
"We have found out that the kender are here on a pilgrimage. As to why, well, we don't exactly know yet - although we have heard any number of tales ranging from the absurd to the utterly ridiculous. Things like - Tasslehoff Burfoot's remains have been stolen and brought here and that all true and honest kender must journey here to recover these relics. One fellow seemed to be under the impression that they are all here to rescue a time-traveling Burfoot, somehow mistakenly imprisoned."
Earlier in the week some of Palanthas's citizens began barricading themselves in their homes in an effort to keep what was theirs, theirs. This practice didn't last very long, because as soon as one of these places was discovered hordes of Kender would descend upon it, every one of them determined to enter as soon as possible, all certain that there was some wonderfully fantastic secret on the inside.
When the Herald went out into the streets and asked some of the kender what the pilgrimage was for, these were some of the responses we got.
"Ooo, ooh, ooh, it's because you want to thank us," said Jodie Tootsweet, "For saving you all from that great big honking gob army a while back. On behalf of all my people I'd like to say, you're most welcome!"
"Everybody knows that," said Rufus Wrinklecap, not the Rufus Wrinklecap he informed us. "We are here to express our dissatisfaction with your new Emperor - he didn't invite any kender to his coronation, or his wedding either. How rude!"
"No more or less," said their wrinkled elder, Saige Tombstone,"Than to help you in your fast approaching time of need."
"Aww, that's easy," said Livinia Twinkletoes. "We are all here to throw a surprise party, for my Aunt Livinia, no less! I'm so proud at the turn out!"
"No, no, no, Liv," said her companion, one of the innumerable Tasslehoff Burrfoots. "It' for my Uncle Trapspringer, he's returning from one of the moons!"
"No your wrong Tas," said another Tasslehoff Burrfoot. "It's for my Uncle Livinia and he is coming back from a planet, Shinare! Did I ever tell you the story of how he got that name? You see it happened one night, many years ago, when he was a teenager and he got drunk on dwarf spirits for the first time. He woke up naked in a bed in this half-ogress's arms...."