- Cross eyed, flee infested, buck toothed, gully dwarf!
- Did your parents ever insult any gods?
- Have you considered using skunk oil to hide that horrible smell?
- I've always wondered what a cross-breed between an ogre and a gully dwarf would look like!
- Why do you always make that funny face at me? Oh! That's how you always look!
- You think you're the gods' gift to Krynn? Well, I hope they kept the receipt!
- Your father was a minotaur and your mother's a ranger!
- Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of eldeberries!
- You've got a face only a draconian could love!
- Who sang that originally? Let's keep it that way.
Death Knight Taunts
- Do you ever need to be relit?
- Where do you stick the batteries?
- You may be able to kill me with a word, but do you ever shut up?
- Here Birdy Birdy! Dwagon wanna Cwacker?
- Are you male or female? I can't tell.
- Hide the silverware! It's a ken- oh my! I'm so sorry Mister Dwarf. I thought you were a kender!
- I see why you stay underground, the fresh air avoids you.
- I've seen a more impressive beard on an elf woman!
- Your mother had no whiskers!
- (To an elf woman): Hey, I saw a dwarf lady wearing that same thing...but she made it look good.
- I think they're really interesting! Especially with the long pointy ears. I believe they can flap them and fly up as high as they have their noses.
- (To a Kagonesti): Kender children like to draw pictures on themselves too!
- My ears are pointier!
- Who do you look like most - your father or your mother???
- Go soak your head in a bucket. Then some fool might mistake it for a helm and, therefore, mistake you for a knight.
- I'm not surprised you have never had scurvy. What illness would want to have you as a host?
- Have any of you lost this bell?
- Hey isn't that Farmers Strobel's brand on you?
- How was your night in the stables, you ugly spawn of a tavern roast!
- I know a dairy where they need a nice cow like you.
- I know a farrier who could size you right up!
- Wow! That cow just spoke!
- You eat meat? I thought cows were herbivores.
- You have got to be the worst excuse for a horse I ever saw!
- You milk-giving, field-grazing, ugly horn-head!!!
- Your father had no horns!
- I've never seen teeth in such a lovely shade of green...
- How can 5 heads share half a brain?
- Look! A goblin with 5 dragon heads!
- (To a Red Robe): Have you ever been charged by a minotaur?
- How can a Black Robe be evil in a dress?
- Whew! Is that your spell components, or do you make your own soap?
- Who needs a magic portal with those nostrils?!?
- (*bends over*) Worship This Moon!
- You couldn't turn water into ice in the dead of winter!
- You're such a bad wizard that you couldn't even cast fishing rod!!!
This item has been published here with permission from the author(s) and may not be reproduced without permission. This is a fan submission and its contents are completely unofficial. Some characters, places, likenesses and other names may be copyright Wizards of the Coast.