The Dragonlance Nexus

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http://www.dlnexus.com/fan/music/17324.aspx

Life is a Lemon, and I Want My Dragonlance

by Trampas Whiteman


To the tune of 'Life is a Lemon and I Want My Money Back', with apologies to Meat Loaf.

It's Weis and Hickman
Weis and Hickman's all I read
Ev'ry time I read their books, I read them up and read them down.

It's always Raistlin
There's always Raistlin going on
That's the only guarantee, that's what this is all about

It's a never-ending attack
Dragonarmy's a lie and that's a fact
Life is a lemon and I want my Dragonlance

And all three Orders
And all the wizards with their spells
They're the ones who make the Test, it's not a game it's just a rout

There's Desolation
There's Desolation on the map
It leaves a stain on Ansalon and no detergent gets it out

And we're also reading Richard Knaak
Red Robes are over, fade to Black
Life is a lemon and I want my Dragonlance

I want my Dragonlance
I want my Dragonlance

What about ogres?
They're defective! Always breaking things in half.

What about elves?
They're defective! Elf lands are never built to last.

What about your dragons?
They're defective! All the breath weapons are shot.

What about your gnomes?
They're defective! All the parts are out of stock.

What about the Heart?
It's defective! The Power's black and decayed.

What about faith?
It's defective! It's missing and delayed.

What about your gods?
They're defective! Cataclysm of the week.

What about Solace?
It's defective! It's a dead-end street to me.

What about your Truth?
It's defective! It's a pack of useless lies.

What about your dice?
They're defective! Roll a 1 and then you die

What about your Knighthood?
It's defective! It's dead and buried in the past

What about your Measure?
It's defective! And you can shove it up your lance!

Oh, I want my Dragonlance
I want my Dragonlance

It's Weis and Hickman
Weis and Hickman's all I read
Ev'ry time I read their books, I read them up and read them down.

It's a never-ending attack
Dragonarmy's a lie and that's a fact
Life is a lemon and I want my Dragonlance

And we're also reading Richard Knaak
Then DL movie's over, fade to black
Life is a lemon and I want my Dragonlance

I want my Dragonlance
I want my Dragonlance

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This item has been published here with permission from the author(s) and may not be reproduced without permission. This is a fan submission and its contents are completely unofficial. Some characters, places, likenesses and other names may be copyright Wizards of the Coast.